On reclaiming discernment, and why I've been MIA

Sometimes silence is deafening. But sometimes...sometimes silence is divine.

I've been a little MIA the past few weeks, and if that's felt deafening for you, I want to reassure you that I'm very much here.

I know I haven't been writing articles. I haven't been posting on LinkedIn, haven't been sending out my newsletter. But I have been preparing. More on that later.

For me, this period of silence has been time to shut out the noise.

The internet, the news, social media (LinkedIn in particular) is filled with people offering input into my life. Sometimes it's obvious, other times it masquerades as best practice or helpful advice, at worst it's presented as the smartest way/only way/ biggest mistake I'm making if I'm not doing it this way.

I find that all that noise crowds out wisdom from the universe. Call it God, call it your inner knowing or subconscious, call it spirit or the divine; whatever that higher power and higher knowledge means for you, it suffocates under the onslaught of digitial distraction.

For me, that inner voice is about 40% my conscious, 40% God speaking through my conscious, and 20% God just laying out what's what whether I like it or not. And about 2 weeks ago, that 40/40 combo had something to say about all that noise as I was mindlessly scrolling LinkedIn:

Conscious: What are you doing?

Me: Looking at the feed. Just for a few minutes.

Conscious: Why?

Me: In case there's something helpful for my business here.

Conscious: In case? How will you decide whose advice to follow with all of those choices?

Me: I'll only read the things that seem valuable.

Conscious: But how do you tell what seems valuable from what's actually valuable? How do you know whose opinion is sound? How can tell who's offering help and who's slinging hype? How do you know whose patterns, practices, and principles are right for you?

Me: I...don't.

Conscious: **rolls eyes** No wonder you're overwhelmed and overloaded.

This is when I realized being so digitally connected all the time costs us our discernment.

When being chronically online creates a chronic lack of discernment

When you form relationships in the real world, you can more easily develop discernment. Between actions, behavior patterns, and shallow and deep discussions that reveal who we are, what we believe, and how we live out (or don't) the things we say, we develop discernment. Discernment tells us who is and who isn't for us. Who we will or won't listen to. Who we should and should not learn from, and do as they do.

But we don't really know the people we connect with online like this. We certainly don't know the randoms social algorithms like to throw into our feeds, just to see if we'll add them to our ever-growing digital junk drawer.

So how do we know whose way is the right way for us? How can we really tell whom to learn from? How do we know how they know what they claim to know? (There's definitely a Friends callback hanging around in that last sentence.)

We don't. But if it "sounds" good, we think we should be listening—to all of it. And we tell ourselves that this is good because it means we're informed, resourceful, and prepared.

It's why we have emotional support tabs. You know, the tabs you keep open in your browser window because you tell yourself they're important and you're going to read them, and yet they just hang around week after week until your browser force quits and you have that moment of panic (My tabs!), then you shrug it off and start the tab hoarding process all over again?

I'll see you your emotional support tabs and raise you emotional support emails. I have loads of 'em.

Where once I couldn't stand having any emails in my inbox, now I've got:

• at least 3 financial influencers' newsletters

• 2 fitness/nutrition resources

• 3 separate resources from programs or people offering business advice

• a handful of emails loaded with tips and how-to videos from SaaS like Wix and Honeybook

• the industry-related onslaught of all the updates, case studies, and things-I-should-be-doing in marketing and AI

And I'm hanging onto them because I just know there's knowledge nuggets I need in there, and I swear I'm gonna read 'em and do all the things. Someday.

This is what lack of discernment looks like: collecting too many people's opinions, tips & tricks, best practices, knowledge nuggets until your digital coffers overfloweth in the worst possible way. It's paralyzing. And it leaves you no room to hear your own advice, let alone trust it.

(To be clear, I'd wager 90% of the people in my inbox are legit. They're doing their best, and they're good at what they do. But do I need all of them? And do I need to let more of them in by hunting for more needles in haystacks on LinkedIn? Nope. No, I do not.)

I think we forget that we know things, too. We have ways that work for us, intuition that serves us, an inner north star that guides. Spending so much time chasing someone else's true north means we wander away from our own until we've lost sight of it entirely.

I've grown tired of letting this much noise into my life. Like I'm low-key mad at how much the world expects me to let in, and how much I agree to let it violate my brain space. My conscious is very tired of me telling it that everyone else knows more than it does about everything. It's tired of being ignored.

So for a few weeks, I unplugged. I let it all go silent. I keyed into one outside voice, and my own. And it's been so frutiful.

TL/DR:

I've spent the time listening. Planning. Mapping out the future.

I've reconnected with my own thoughts, and embraced my own way of showing up as the way for me to show up; it's not right for everyone, but it's right for me.

I've doubled down on my why and tightened my vision. I'm clear about the kind of business I want to run, what my ethical red lines are, and what I won't do just because other people are doing it. And my offers? Those went under the knife too. Oh man, I can't wait to share more with you when the time's right. Soon, very soon.

If you're on this ride with me, over the next few weeks you'll start to see:

• more articles

• more transparency

• shorter but more consistent emails

• more opportunities to connect with me for free

If you're not already signed up for my newsletter, you'll want to get on the list before the email goes out next week. I'll be sharing some teasers, and getting input from the crowd about what you want and need from me.

For now, I'll leave you with a challenge: turn it all off for one week.

Just delete the emails. Don't read the feed, don't hunt for the business articles.

Let your conscious tell you what the right next step is. Listen to your own wisdom about what you want, what you'll create and how to move forward.

I think you'll surprise yourself about how much noise you can let go of, and how much you already know.